Homeland Security Thinks Outside the Box

From every MIB's favorite intel source Weekly World News on how to protect the Golden Gate Bridge:

However, working with the San Francisco Police Department, the OHS has devised a plan to keep the bridge safe.

"We've hired 25 young, beautiful women willing to remove all their clothing and station themselves at strategic points on and approaching the bridge," explained San Francisco Police Public Information Officer Bruce Onder.

"Hopefully, that will keep religious radicals from coming near the structure."

According to Dr. Henry Chilvers, Professor Emeritus of Religion and Morality at the University of Sprituality in Sacramento, "Many orthodox faiths demand that a woman cover herself completely, excluding the face and hands, from men except her husband. Most religious zealots who would harm our nation are youths who have not seen one naked woman, let alone many. The shock, shame or simple eye-popping spectacle is going to make them do a U-turn pretty quickly. Or else drive into the bay, which is just as good."

Hmmm. Of course the bridge will be too full of cars full of men for any terrorists to get on it anyway...

University of Spirituality in Sacramento...?