Iran Media Hype: "US uses piracy as excuse to control energy passage: Iran Navy official"

Iranian Aircraft Carrier "The Bob"

In the world of information warfare, the Iranians follow the old Avis slogan of "We Try Harder!" Hype is the polite word for most of their efforts.

Here's the latest gem from Iran's PressTV (all the misspellings are PressTV's, the highlight is mine): "US uses piracy as excuse to control energy passage: Iran Navy official":

The issue of piracy has provided the US with a pretext to maintain its presence in the strategic region of the Gulf of Aden and Bab al-Mandab Strait, Captain Khordad Hakimi told reporters on Sunday, IRNA reported.

Given the fact that some 65 and 35 percent of energy demanded by Europe and the US respectively passes through this region, the United States finds it necessary to compete for controlling and dominating the flow of energy, he added.

The commander also pointed out that the US has equipped pirates with weapons and satellite information to justify its presence in the region and thus control the flow of energy.

According to captain Hakimi, more than 20 countries have dispatched their naval forces to the Indian Ocean and the Gulf of Aden, but only Iran, India and Russia carry out independent missions while others work as joint maritime forces led by the US.

Now, let me turn the tables. Let me re-write parts of the "story" placing Iran as the subject:

An American Navy official says Iran uses the issue of piracy in the Gulf of Aden as a pretext to maintain presence in the region with the aim of controlling the flow of energy.

The issue of piracy has provided Iran with a pretext to maintain its presence in the strategic region of the Gulf of Aden and Bab al-Mandab Strait, Captain I.M. Nobody told reporters on Sunday, USNOTNEWS reported.

Given the fact that some 80 percent of energy shipped by Iran passes through this region and is vital to the Iranian economy, Iran asserts it necessary to compete for controlling and dominating the flow of energy, he added.

The commander also pointed out that Iran has equipped pirates with weapons and satellite information to justify its presence in the region and thus control the flow of energy.

According to Captain Nobody, more than 20 countries have dispatched their naval forces to the Indian Ocean and the Gulf of Aden, but only Iran, India and Russia carry out independent missions while others work as joint maritime forces led by the US.

The U.S. and its coalition partners have so far escorted or protected about a zillion ships in the Gulf of Aden, Nobody said, adding that a few of them came under attack by pirates, but were successfully rescued.

In line with international efforts against piracy, the U.S. Navy has been conducting patrols in the Gulf of Aden since the earth cooled in order to safeguard merchant containers and oil tankers owned or leased by the U.S. or other countries.

The Gulf of Aden, which links the Indian Ocean with the Suez Canal and the Mediterranean Sea, is a strategic energy corridor particularly because the Persian Gulf oil is shipped to the West via the Suez Canal.

Despite patrols by Iran and several other countries allied with the West, Somali pirates have hijacked dozens of ships in recent years and have taken in tens of millions of dollars in ransoms.

Gee, that was fun and easy.